Love Potion No XIII
by Smutyaoifan
Summary: Based on 'Love Potion No.9', Sora, a geeky young scientist living with his best friend, Riku, is sold a mysterious love potion from a weird fortune teller. Turns out it makes girls fall in love with him! But what about Riku? SoRiku Others inside. HIATUS!
1. Chapter 1

**Love Potion No. XIII**

By Tsubasa

Hey there! Tsubasa here. Yeah, I know that I haven't written a fic since a century ago and it was…….only one…… . ……But that doesn't matter now! I'm starting a fresh! And now I'm writing Kingdom Hearts, instead of Naruto…so yay. Um….Yeah I'll start with the story stuff now.

This Fanfic is based on the movie Love Potion No. 9 which some of you might have seen or heard of, but if you haven't, then that's cool -. That means it will be more suspenseful…but anyways…

**Warnings: **Okay people, hold tight. This story is filled with yaoi, adult themes, language, smoking, drinking, drugs, and any other crap like that that parents have their kids sleep through when mommy and daddy are watching something for grown ups. The pairings are as followed: Soriku, Yuffentine, Akuroku, Wakkidus, Seiyner, and tons of other hotguysxRiku. Yup. Oh and some Soraxhot girls but basically all of them except one don't even exist in KH or anywhere so they don't count. xD Don't likie don't readie.

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Love Potion No. 9 nor do I own Kingdom Hearts. Seriously, if I did, why the hell would I be writing fanfics about them? I mean come on…

** Chapter 1:** I'm too tired to make a chapter name so deal with it.

---OoOoOo---

_**Ring Ring**_

_Wha?_

_**Ring Ring**_

_Oh.._

_**Ring Ring**_

_Ugh, shit._

_**Ring Ring**_

"Man I'll get it! Shit, do these people even know what time it is?"

Hi, this is me. Yerami Sora. There's really not much else to say though. I'm a boring, spiky haired, 21 year old, scientist. Yup, same old, same old. Okay, maybe being a scientist isn't 'same old', but whatever, do I really have to get into details about this.

Yawing, I stretched my overly tired arms and lifted the satin covers off of me. Lifting an unresponsive foot, I lowered it onto the floor and let it search for my slippers for a bit. Mornings, yeah they really sucked. The sunny sunshine coming through the blinds, dilating your pupils, the cold wood floor, burning your feet, and oh the wonderful feeling in your tummy that you know you're going to work. Haha, can't beat em, can you? Groaning, my foot finally met it's brethren slipper and I slid it in softly. Shifting my body till I was sitting on the bed upright, I followed the same technique with my other foot, not even bothering to open my eyes yet. I knew if I did that they would be met with only pain and blinding light.

Oh right, shit, phone. That was my job. Realizing this like a hit in the face, I quickly jumped up and slid my way to the counter on the faaar side of room, or at least it seemed that way to me. Almost successfully hitting the wall in my sliding technique, I grabbed for the still ringing phone and groggily tried to answer.

"Ugh, hello? Who the fuck is this?"

I just waited to hear the voice of the very hell-raising person who dared wake me up.

"Hey Sora, it's Tidus!"

Oh. It's Tidus. Well then, I guess that's okay then. Haha.

"Oh, hey Tidus. What is it? Is you watch broken or something because I'm beginning to think you can't tell time."

"Err…Yeah sorry about that. It was just that I was running out with Wakka and wanted to call you before we left."

Ah Tidus, it's never easy to be mad at you. Especially when I still owe you a car from the last time I drove it. But that's beside the point. Playing with the telephone cord, my fingers always seemed to find something to be distracted with. That was just my curse wasn't it?

"It's okay, I forgive, but so what is it man?"

"Okay, so me, Roxas, and Hayner were wondering if you would like to just have a guys night out with us, away from the chicks."

………

"But Tidus……what chicks do you speak of? All of you are fucking gay and I'm sleeping with my self."

Oh, did I forget to mention that all my friends were gay? Yup, I aint got one straight friend in this world. Yah it really can be good sometimes, but sometimes it gets a little weird. Especially when your 'friend' starts feeling up your ass every now and then. But no, when you're looking for an outfit to wear and you're straight, then it really helps. Wait hey hey, don't think I'm being prejudiced or something….it's just…ah fuck it. Back to the conversation.

"Yeah, kinda forgot about that. What I _meant _to say was that we should get away from our couples, or in your case, roommate."

Speak of the devil, said roommate came strolling through the door, hair a mess and eyelids half open. Yawning, the silver haired man rubbed his eyes with one hand, and held a steaming cup of coffee in the other hand. This was Uchida Riku…Also gay. Yes I just attract them like flies to a blistering light, don't I? But it doesn't matter; he's not looking for love or anything so it's not weird. It's all because a year or two ago Riku had an ex-boyfriend who abused and raped him until Riku finally left him and came living here with me. We still haven't heard a word from that bastard ever since. _Ansem. _That name just makes me boil up inside.

Riku was my best friend since like, ever. He had always been the macho guy, the looks, the brains, and the skills. But then after…_him,_ he just locked himself up. Started wearing really dull and baggy clothing, needed to wear glasses, never really talked, and just lost his shine. It really bugged me too, since he was just so great. But around me he's perfectly fine, only one he can trust I guess.

Grinning at my half-awake friend, or at least trying to, I swiftly grabbed the hot coffee goodness out of his hands and took a huge gulp to his utter dismay. Too bad he was too asleep to really do anything about it, or I would've been strangled half to death. Rolling his eyes, he snatched the coffee back and looked at me through his half-lidded spectacles.

"Sora, who's on the phone? At this time?"

Smiling, I rolled my eyes in response. Covering the hearing part of the device, he leaned into him.

"Shh, it's Tidus. He wants to have a group outing with the guys and me. Don't say anything bad though out loud about him, you know he has keen hearing."

The silver mess simply half-smiled and went back to drinking his half-full coffee. I lifted my hand from the phone and went back to my conversation.

"Yeah, sorry, Riku just walked into the room on queue. And yes, I think it would be a great idea. What time shall we go?"

"Ummm, I'm thinking about eight. First we thought we'd hit the dance club 'Keyhole', and then after go to this real freaky fortune telling place. It was Roxas's idea for the fortune telling thingy so don't bawl at me."

I laughed out loud, receiving an eyebrow raised at my direction. Man Roxas was always coming up with theses strange events. One time he forced us to go to some magic show in the outskirts of Mexifer, the town we live in, which is like a real poor dingy place. Ended up paying good money to see nothing but crap. Roxas, poor fellow, had to pay our bills for weeks after that. Ah, good times.

"Heh, sounds good. I'll be there, so save the ladies for me!"

I could just picture Tidus rolling his eyes on the other side of the line at me.

"Don't worry, they're all yours. So see ya!"

"Yeah, bye!"

And with a 'beep', I dropped the machine into its receiver and immediately stretched my aching arms afterwards. Seeing as Riku had left to the living room, I waltzed my way to him, avoiding huge cardboard boxes in the hallway full of crap. We sure were pack rats, never even emptying the stuff afterwards. Ah well, nobody really cares? Well, except for my parents when they visit, but that's nobody to me.

Heading to the comfy couch that was practically singing for me to plop down on it and give a good 'sigh', I nearly tripping over my cat Simba. Yes, I had a little fury cat named Simba. I named him that because I thought he looked like the little lion cub from the cartoon movie, with all his orange fur and stuff. Jumping over the armrest, I landed onto the cushions of my favorite green furniture and gave my good 'sigh' in response.

Glancing out the window, I watched a plane fly over my beloved little city, Mexifer. A wondrous place, and a landmark of the large and famous Panajx, known throughout the world as the richest and biggest country. Compared to it's capital, although, Mexifer paled in comparison, it was just a little city. Nothing more then that. But I loved it anyway, because it was all the life and excitement.

Turning back to reality, I switched the TV on to find nothing but boring news. Blah blah blah, something about wars in other countries, blah blah blah, something about the prince of Panajx visiting our little Mexifer, blah blah blah, more crap. Sighing, I turned it back off and kicked my feet up onto the table, only to have little Simba run toward me at the familiar sound and jump up on my lap, purring. I chuckled slightly and petted the little feline on the head, stroking its orange mane…Well, at least I liked to pretend he had a mane.

Then, I started to think about what my day was going to be like. First I would start my experiments…on monkeys. Yes, I experiment on monkeys. But it's not what it sounds like, I don't harm them or twist them into some morbid chimera or anything, I just observe their behavior and add things and see how they react. Okay? Okay. Now, as I was saying, since my lab is here at home, I would work on that until 7:30 where I would get dressed and stuff and then meet the guys at the 'Keyhole' at 8:00. Jeez, where do they come up with these names? And then after that, we go to the gypsy woman or something and get our fortune told. Haha, how fun. How fun that would be…

--OoOoOo--

Yippee! -jumps in the air- I think the chapter turned out nicely, don't you? Actually I didn't expect to drag the entire morning out this far but it seems like a nice start. So like, R&R? All that jazz? I'll try to update periodically but I don't know since I have high school and we all know how that sucks major hairy ass. So brighten my day with a nice comment! Oh, and all flames will just warm my furnace and keep me cozy inside, so just keep that in mind. xD


	2. Chapter 2

**Love Potion No. XIII**

By Tsubasa

Um….Okay. I'm pretty sad D. I only got one review for the first chappie and it was from my friend who I forced to read… . …..That just makes me depressed. But, I don't want to whine about it since I see some stories that don't even get ANY reviews at all. So I should feel lucky that I got one…and that people put this on story alert and I got a few hits. So in order to get reviews, I am putting the next chappie out! Yay! So this time PLEASE review! It makes my day. 

And I'm sure most of you will notice (if you had read before) that I changed Sora's age from 18 to 21….its just that I was thinking that he was too young for everything in this story and well, mostly because he wouldn't be able to drink. So yay, and thank you for understanding.

This Fanfic is based on the movie Love Potion No. 9 which some of you might have seen or heard of, but if you haven't, then that's cool -. That means it will be more suspenseful…but anyways…

**Warnings: **Okay people, hold tight. This story is filled with yaoi, adult themes, language, smoking, drinking, drugs, and any other crap like that that parents have their kids sleep through when mommy and daddy are watching something for grown ups. The pairings are as followed: Soriku, Yuffentine, Akuroku, Wakkidus, Seiyner, and tons of other hotguysxRiku. Yup. Oh and some Soraxhot girls but basically all of them except one don't even exist in KH or anywhere so they don't count. D Don't likie don't readie.

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Love Potion No. 9 nor do I own Kingdom Hearts. Seriously, if I did, why the hell would I be writing fanfics about them? I mean come on…

**Chapter 2:** Of REJECTION, creepy ladies, and a potion.

---OoOoOo---

Well.

This sucked.

That was about all I could think as I downed my 3rd or 4th beer, feeling the foam stick onto my nose, as my glass was far too big. I could just feel my eyes droop as all they watched were some stupid football game from the 90's play on a relatively small screen far up in the corner of the ceiling. Sighing, I could just hear the people around me having a blast as the night of parties and dancing went on, me unincluded. I mean, who did I think I was? I came here looking for a night of fun and girls but I should know better by now. I haven't had a break in a long time and a girl in forever. My last girlfriend wasn't actually my girlfriend but some stupid bitch trying to get back at her boyfriend.

Bright lights, loud music, girls laughing and boys talking. Why couldn't I join in the fun? God, even I bored myself sometimes. Slamming the emptied glass on the table and wiping the foam that covered half my mouth and nose, I turned myself around in the spinning chair I was seated in and looked around for the first time. Maybe tonight I could finally do something worthwhile. Maybe…Maybe I could get a girl! Yes, I was feeling the adrenaline rush through my body, my ego pumping up, and my eyes aflame. Tonight I was a nerdy wannabe no more!

Scanning the crowd I spotted a table full of pretty chattering girls. They looked like they were having a good time, and just about every other sentence either made them curl their hair with their finger, giggle, or roll their eyes. Hmm, just the perfect type. Stepping off the stool and landing on my now confident feet, I strolled over to their table, eager to get lucky. Just then, I spotted one girl among them, probably the leader of the group, a blond and busty girl dressed all in white. Boy, I could just feel my heart leap out of my chest as I let my eyes walk all over her body.

Reaching the table, I placed my hand firmly on it, ending the chittering and chattering of the pretty girls. They all stopped in mid sentence, mouth open, and staring at me as if they were almost saying 'you've got to be kidding'. Well, I'll show them. Turning my attention to the blonde, I smiled at her, trying to flash my pearly whites. Too bad they were masked by evil metal braces that positively ruined the whole thing. Looking at me like I was the most annoying thing in the world, said blonde flipped her hair and leaned way back in her chair.

"What do you want, bud?"

Grinning, I raised my hand, looking at the back of it as if I had something better to do.

"Well, I was wondering if I could buy you a drink. What'dya say sweetie?"

Bad move. I shouldn't have been so confident, as this sentence earned a squeal of laughter from the girls at the table. The blonde smirked and rolled her eyes. Just then, my heart skipped a beat as she leaned forward completely, grabbing my tie with her perfectly manicured nails.

"_Well, _I'd say maybe. You look like an easy guy, how about I give you a test? If you answer correctly I will let you do whatever you want with me, and I'll be all yours."

Unable to close my mouth, sweat rolled down my forehead in small beads. God, my heart had never beaten this fast before.

"My names Namine, what's yours honey?"

"S-Sora!"

Ah, how could I stutter at a time like this? I must've looked like a complete idiot, as the girls behind me were raging with laughter, almost falling over in their chairs. Looking me up and down, still holding my tie, Namine lightly pinched a fold in her white dress.

"Well Sora dear, who designed this dress?"

………

Oh. God.

My eyes darted back and forth from her face to a random spot next to it. Gulping I was unable to move in my spot, stuttering and shaking like an imbecile.

"I-I d-don't…um…K-know?"

Smirking, Namine let go off my tie and I almost tripped and fell on her, luckily stopping myself from that embarrassment.

"Loser, get out of my sight."

And with that she and her little hyena friends let out bellowing laughter and giggles, and turned to talking about how much of an idiot I was. I almost felt like crying as I dragged myself from that crowd, slowly moving back into my place at the bar, on my stool, to started chugging my beer. But before I could have this sanctuary, my shoulder was tapped and I turned around to face my smiling friends. Hayner grinned, resting his arm on my shoulder.

"So Sora, have any fun? Get any _girls_?"

I felt myself twitch at that comment. First I felt like lying to them and saying 'yes, plenty. But I turned them all down', but I knew that they would know better. I simply sighed and felt myself droop as I lowered my head.

"I wish not to talk about girls right now I was made a complete moron by one of them."

All three guys made an imitation 'ouch' complete with facial expressions and all. Putting all of their arms around me, they walked me towards the door. Roxas patted my back, head shaking.

"Seriously dude, girls are no fun. They're all brainless little children with boobs. Come on, switch to guys, you'd love em."

I rolled my eyes, trying to push the door open from the bar with the heavy weight on my shoulders. These guys need to lose _serious _pounds. But thinking back to the swinging a different way thing, the half drunk me pondered on it for a while. Hey, at least they don't make fun of you like girls, and are a hell of a lot easier to understand. There was always Riku…

Surprising my friends like a jolt, I literally smacked myself, which I regretted later because it hurt like fucking hell. How could I _possibly _think of liking guys? And Riku for that matter?! We were buds, nothing more. Sheesh, maybe I shouldn't have had all those beers. After being thoroughly shaken by my own weird thoughts, I became even _more_set out to find a girl. Funny how that comes across.

I must've been so drunk because I couldn't even remember getting to the fortuneteller place. The only thing I did remember was Roxas jumping up and down like a little kid going to the Circus. Ha, now that I remember more I keep laughing when I think of him shouting 'Oh goodie! This is going to be soooo much fun! I can't wait!' Maybe somebody else had a bit too many, eh? Anyway, reaching the place I thought we had come to the wrong stop since it was a normal apartment building. No creepy house, cool decorations, or even a few cheesy posters. Just a regular glass door on the outside, with a buzzer leading into a cramped hallway with an elevator and a bunch of stairs. Wow, how exiting.

Buzzing in for the right floor, Tidus had to shout through the intercom to get the old lady to hear him. Finally, when she understood, or at least _thought_she understood, a buzzing noise was heard and we pushed the door open. The apartment number was 6B so we entered the cramped, and relatively dirty elevator with a blinking light to the sixth floor. Waiting as the stupid device took it's precious time, we were glad when it opened it's doors because I could _swear _I had seen a little rat in there. Walking out, our footsteps echoed through the dirty old hallway, wallpaper peeling off and the rug al torn up. Blinking lights stayed above us, as they did in the previous elevator. I turned my face to Roxas, and gave him a glare silently saying 'What the fuck did you get us into'. He seemed to understand as he quickly turned his face away with regret written all over it.

Finally, we made our way to the chosen door 6B and Tidus pressed the small doorbell seated over the rusted knob. Waiting for a few seconds, I could hear Hayner tapping his foot impatiently against the cold floor. He really never was patient one, and was known for his hot-headedness. How wonderful once again. Then, to my relief or dismay, I don't really know which to tell you the truth, the door opened to reveal a surprisingly pretty woman, but with a mysterious and serious look on her face, and adorned with strange robes. I almost gave a surprised gasp because to be honest I had really expected an old saggy woman who was hard of hearing and had hairs growing out of her nose. The woman saw this and gave a small, almost hidden smirk as she turned and led us into her house.

"Not what you expected eh? Must all witches be like the fairytales?"

I gave a bit of a muffled giggle, and thankfully this time she didn't catch it. It was kind of sad, that this woman in all her beauty and seriousness really believed she was a witch. Must've gone through some really horrible event and tried to cover it up with making herself believe that she was special. Really sad.

Finally, she turned around taking her long hair and robes flying with her in her turn, and sat down in an old wooden chair seated behind a wide long table. Setting her hands on the table, she gazed at us almost fiercely, knowledge written in her eyes.

"I am Lulu, the fortune witch. I may guess that you do not believe me and that you probably came here for some unknown fun. Right?"

She actually turned her gaze strictly to Roxas when she had said that last line. He gave sort of a jump, a bit scared under her look. I raised my eyebrows, man she was good. Sighing, she leaned back in her chair, closing her eyes lazily. Lifting up her jeweled fingers, she beckoned me forward.

"You," she said, "you are the one that needs me the most. Come here."

I shifted my eyes nervously, searching the faces of my friends to see if it was all right. They all gave a slight nod so I shrugged and walked forward to this 'Lulu'. Taking my hand in hers, she told me to sit down so I placed myself in a somewhat comfortable chair. Still closing her eyes, Lulu held my hand firmly, as if reading my just from that touch. Finally opening her eyes, she gave a hidden smirk once again at me, and I frowned, almost feeling insulted for some reason.

"I may say that you have not been with a woman ever before, am I right?"

Damn. I gulped, turning my attention to another object in the room, not wanting to look in her taunting eyes. I focused my eyes on a bottle that was seated on her musty counter to my left. Everything in this small room seemed musty and ancient, as if she hadn't cleaned it in years. Books piled shelves and surfaces, and bottles filled glass cabinets lined up in a row around this room.

"No...that's not….I have…."

"Don't lie to me, I know you haven't."

I sighed, admitting defeat with embarrassment building up in my chest. I really was some pathetic kind of creature, wasn't I? From the corner of my eye I saw her nod and let go of my hand. Getting up from her seat, it surprised me so I turned back to the fortuneteller. Lulu walked away and headed to a small glass cabinet. Taking a bronze key out of her endless robes, she opened the cabinet and went over the bottles with her finger, reading the numbers and mumbling under her breath. In this break, I turned back to the guys; a blush sprawled across my tanned cheeks. I could see them giggled slightly at my virginity, and I shrunk into my seat, face drooping a bit.

Carefully taking the right bottle, Lulu heading back to us with it in her long fingers. Placing it on the table steadily, I looked closer at it and saw that it was a rather big, large purple bottle, almost like the perfume kinds. It had a strange looking liquid in it, and written on it's label read 'no. XII'. I carried a puzzled stare, what does that mean? Smiling at us for the first time, Lulu pushed it forward to me and then leaned back into her seat once more.

"This is love potion no. XII. One drop of it in your mouth, and ladies all over will fall head over heels in love with you. It works by directing the gender that you want to fall in love when they hear you voice. If you take this, and you speak, it sets off pheromones in the air that set of nerves in the gender's mind."

I scoffed. A love potion? Get real.

Right?

---OoOoOo---

xD Wow, I actually started this chapter like two weeks ago and then forgot about it….I was just….so busy…So now I finally finished, aren't you happy with me? D But seriously guys, PLEASE REVIEW. If you don't review then how do I know that people are liking this story? Criticism, complements, anything will do. But uh, flames will be eaten. Yes. Eaten. Yum. So PLEASE review people. Come on.


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